The Quaffer Story
The story of the Quaffer and Quafferville all started with one man... Jimmy Quaffa.
Jimmy lived in "The Valley of the Sun" where he attended Arizona State University.
As a Sun Devil, Jimmy wanted to attend law school and become a politician. Early on
Jimmy was interested in being a senator or congressman, but as the years passed all
of that changed. You see, Jimmy became aware of the politics within the University system
and life in general. As he learned more about the political game, the more Jimmy became
uncertain of his future. Jimmy was by no means a model citizen. He liked to drink and party
as much as possible, but that was about all that Jimmy and politicians had in common.
One day Jimmy was at a party where he witnessed the most obscene display
of alcohol abuse he had ever seen. The host of the party was pouring tequila shots for about
twenty friends who were waiting anxiously outside. The host picked up a "homewrecker" (1.75L)
of tequila and attempted to pour the shots. Afterwards, over half of the bottle lay on
the counter, some dripping into the sink and some on the floor. It was the worst pour job Jimmy
had ever witnessed. Jimmy then proceeded outside where the host distributed the shots to many
unwilling takers. A few asked for a chaser and a few others looked frightened. The host
ignored their requests and proceeded with his toast, which ended in "down the hatch". As
Jimmy looked on he saw the face... you know... the look that says "Ouch, what the f*ck did
I just do?" Then, before the faces relaxed back to their normal state, one of the girls in
the back turned around, bent over and unloaded the tequila and everything else she had in
her stomach at the time. The crowd looked on in awe as one by one the guests started heading
for the bathroom. Some made it... some didn't. As Jimmy left the party he knew something had
to be done. How could people in this day and age not have a better way to drink shots?
It was that day Quafferville and the Quaffer was born. Not long after that
party Jimmy came out with the Quaffer, and since then has added to his inventive drinking line.
Today Jimmy has realized his goal of becoming a politician... he is Mayor of Quafferville. The
only difference between Jimmy and a "normal" politician is that Jimmy cares.
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